I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5'3 and overweight
I'm a Sci-Fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace
'cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I
Ever even been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.
Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
When you got my kinda stats, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in
Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I know for a fact that my Sister In Law is one of those people that fakes who she is online. A self-proclaimed Atheist in real life, I frequently see her telling people online that she's "Praying for them" - it's a lie. She does not pray, nor does she believe in a higher power. -Sickening. She is also up on child abuse charges regarding my nephews which, in her twisted web of online lies has come to sound more like a mild misunderstanding where the children's mother is twisting and taking everything out on her. It's odd though, the State certainly doesn't see it that way. I don't understand some of the lengths she goes to to change who she is when posting online, other than the fact that if these women knew who she really was, they'd have nothing to do with her, just like me in real life.
I'm not really sure why it bothers me so much other than I am my real, 100% genuine person on the Internet. If you "know me" on the Internet, than you "know me" in real life. My opinions are the same, my actions are the same, and the raw emotions that I post, you can bet they are the same too. I don't hide anything about who I am, and I expect other online posters to do the same. Perhaps not on all of the blogs, as I've personally been a victim of having my photos and story stolen by a young girl in a desperate need for attention, but on forums, where I count on you to be there for me, I expect you to be genuine. What bothers me the most about this song is that it makes it alright for these fakers and liars to continue what they are doing. Lying has never been alright with me, and it's a big part of what is wrong with MY GENERATION. 1 White Lie Can Be Harmful, people! Remember that!
Disgusting.
,
Oh MY GOSH SABRINA! I've never heard that song, nor do I WANT to hear that song! Ugh.
ReplyDeleteBut my husband's EX is JUST LIKE THAT. She's 48, a single mom of two kids, a GRANDMA, and works a very small paying job, but ON FACEBOOK, she's "in her early 40's raising two wonderful children with the job of my DREAMS!" It is so DISGUSTING. I finally got on there and said, "I don't tell people I am five years younger than I am, so maybe you shouldn't either. And about your "job" maybe you should find a higher paying JOB OF YOUR DREAMS so you can stop hounding ME for MY money." Because she seriously FILED A LAWSUIT against ME so I COULD PAY HER CHILDSUPPORT, with MY salary! I am DEAD serious. She wanted ME to pay Child support because apparently my HUSBAND paying $989 per month wasn't enough for her to "tend to the basic needs of my poor children." UGH.
The judge, of course, laughed in her face. But now the big lie is that Max, one of the twins, "is in DIRE DANGER and had EMERGENCY BRAIN SURGERY to LIVE!" When in fact, he was left alone, decided to go sledding and bumped his head, he had headaches, and then we discovered he had fluid in his brain, so a shunt was put in to drain to his stomach. NOT emergency surgery to LIVE.
I think I'll post THIS song on her profile!!! It is the EPITOME of what she does "online!"
Thanks for staying REAL!
I just realized how many times I CAPITALIZED words...I must have been MAD! hahaha. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteMy sister in law quit her job so that they wouldn't have enough $ to eat so she could return to school and then used her FEDERAL GRANT MONEY that she's supposed to use for living expenses while in school to pay for my Brother In Law's vasectomy reversal. $1500 of OUR TAX DOLLARS went into fixing my Brother In Law's Ball-sack. I WISH I were kidding. My in-laws are quite often giving them groceries and money to pay their rent, gas bill, etc while they try to have another baby and starve to death. Sounds like a good plan...but online, she's a persecuted heroine.
ReplyDeleteI have contemplated for YEARS on getting My husbands ballsack (I love that you used that word!) fixed! His ex-wife gave him an ultimatum after the birth of the twins. Either divorce or get a vasectomy. He was 27 years old.
ReplyDeleteHe's regretted it ever since. And now that he's married to someone six years younger than him rather than 10 years OLDER than him, he REALLY regrets it.
Maybe I'll just do it in his Christmas Stocking, like SHE did. MERRY CHRISTMAS! YOU'RE GETTING YOUR BALLS BACK!!! hahahahah
LMAO! OMG, I had TEARS streaming down my face reading your comment. If you can afford it, GREAT, these idiots CANNOT afford another child, and didn't have the $1500 down-payment either! They can hardly eat now, I can't imagine how they would diaper/feed a baby...my inlaws can't afford to support another grandchild, they are already clothing my Brother In Law's original 4 kids, plus feeding and clothing the new sister in law's 3 kids (Not brother in law's) plus Brother in law and her. Insanity. At least the doctor supposedly did a good job, I mean, at least he didn't die or anything. I totally would have put my $.02 in for the tombstone to read "Death by ballsack surgery" haaaaaaaaaahahaha
ReplyDelete